We are finding out more everyday about non-verbal, pre-conscious, intuitive communication. We are learning more about micro expressions, neuro-linguistic programming, memes, noetic sciences and communication daily.  Science is also uncovering more about the power of our thoughts and how they influence our communication. In fact the latest studies show that communication is only 7% words and 93% an emotional connection.

We know enough about how we communicate to know we can’t hide how we feel, what we believe or our intentions from the people we meet and communicate with everyday.  We know that people only open up and speak freely with someone they believe cares about them and that trust is given more intuitively than verbally. Trust is a decision people make in seconds when they meet someone and grows or is withdrawn based on behavior after it is given.

People communicate in many ways but too often people aren’t paying enough attention to connect and communicate effectively. Poor listening and very little attention to their other senses causes people to not understand what others are really trying to communicate to them.  When you interact with other people it takes all your senses and intuition to communicate effectively.

When you are paying attention to people you know how they are feeling and understand them better. You know almost instantly if they are happy, sad, angry or how they are feeling before a word is spoken and understand what their words really mean.

We know when our friends, family or co-workers aren’t feeling like themselves or something is bothering them.  Our emotions and thoughts can be felt by those around us even when we try to hide them. We can feel how someone else feels and know what they are thinking even before they speak and others know how we are feeling before we speak.

This is no different when salespeople communicate with consumers but these truths seem to have been ignore by many people in the profession of sales.

Traditional sales training attempts to teach salespeople what to say to people to persuade them to buy their products or services. This traditional sales process teaches salespeople to attempt to persuade everyone they meet to buy their product or service and focuses on the transaction.  This has been a recipe for failure that’s created the mistrust between salespeople and consumers. This relationship is at best oddly dysfunctional, and at worst filled with so much indifference it could have only ended in divorce, and it has, as it’s caused consumers to avoid salespeople.

We know that consumers won’t engage salespeople because they believe salespeople are driven by the selfish intention to sell them something.  This exposes one of the weaknesses of sales training that attempts to teach salespeople what to say… It won’t matter if a salesperson knows what to say if consumers won’t talk to them or believe them when they do.

For a salesperson to connect, communicate and create trust with consumers they have to shift their core intention from the desire to make a sale to the desire to make a customer. When a salesperson’s intentions shift to making the consumer a customer, they will to slow down, pay attention, listen and make the conversation about the buyer, more than their product, service or a transaction. This improved conversation is what traditional sales training has attempted to teach sales people to do, but has taught it as a skill set, with the intention to make a sale, which caused the consumers mistrust and retraction from salespeople. With the proper intention or focus to make a customer, consumers will engage, trust and communicate openly with salespeople and everyone wins.

Selling is the fine art of communication and by now it should be understood that consumers feel what salespeople feel and believe them only when salespeople truly care about the end result the consumer will receive from buying their products or services.

Focusing on making a sale is like focusing on getting a date. The more you focus on getting a date the needier you become and the less people will want to date you. So focusing on getting a date is very short sighted. Why do you want a date? What should the intention be? What will make people want to date you? If you said having a fun date and ultimately building a relationship that would provide more dates and a more enriched life, then you’re right. The focus or intention to make a sale is just as short sighted and sabotages making sales, because it makes salespeople needy and consumers want to avoid them.

Shifting the focus or intention to making a customer will move a sales engagement and conversation to the end result that consumers, salespeople and companies all want…Relationships that benefit the customer so much they build the companies brand and the salesperson’s clientele while increasing sales, revenue, reducing costs and creating sustainable growth.

Make the focus or intention shift today and watch your sales increase and business grow as consumers become customers.

By Mike Moore

  1. living4bliss says:

    Another great post, Mike and timely, too.

    I am currently teaching a business communication course and we just covered nonverbal communication and what I call the “audience-centered approach.”

    I will bookmark this post for my class as an example of real-world application.

    With the popularity of social media, people are beginning to lose their face to face skills, including using and reading nonverbal cues.

    Keep these great, insightful posts coming.

  2. Thank You! You are truly making a difference to your students!

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